In a session with a beloved client this week about mothering her son, she said to me, “I don’t know how to find ease.”
Really? I’m not buying it.
This is a woman stuck in Victim consciousness.
Here’s the thing you mothers have to understand: Nothing is more important than your state of being. Not the school your children attend, not the projects you undertake with them, not the stuff you buy them, not the food you feed them, nothing!
Your state of being is the environment you entrain your children into. And the only way to get yourself out of a dynamic with your child that feels unsustainable — you’re exhausted, vulnerable, frustrated, fed up, at your wits end — is to sit yourself down, and sort yourself out. Your salvation is within.
Stop looking to experts and professionals to tell you what your child needs. Get the information you require, sure. But only if it is helpful. Then let your child teach you what s/he needs, and if it means you’re not plugged into society the way that you imagined your life to be, so what? Accept what is, and stop wanting it to be different.
Fighting yourself from within (call it resistance) out-pictures itself as fighting with your child. You are only ever seeing aspects of your own being-ness until you have learned to master yourself from within yourself.
When I was a single mom with two sons, working a full-time job, and studying, I meditated twice a day for 20-60 minutes each sitting. And from where I stand now, I know it was the saving grace in my life. Life gets hard to force you to go within. So, if I can do it then I know that you can, too. IF you want to.
Your state of being is everything. It is the way you generate your experience. Your emotions are linked to the meaning you assign to people, places, and things. And the meaning you assign to people, places, and things comes from the way you are perceiving the world. And the way you perceive the world comes from your state of being — how you are thinking and feeling. You have the right and the responsibility to shift what you are thinking and feeling every day, all day long. And the only thing it will cost you is your Victim.
Every wo/man is born with a Victim in her. And we each must clear her from our psychic field.
If you’re not at peace with yourself, then you have no free will. Because free will runs deeper than your mental and emotional bodies.
Read those two lines again. They are the keys to your Queendom.
Not knowing how to get to ease means you are trying to control your life, but you have no real power. This is the energy that will make you sick. It is not sustainable.
So sit your ass down and get quiet within. Learn who you really are and then face all that life has given you with gratitude and appreciation. Because I’m telling you, it’s a Real Privilege to mother. Step up to the challenge. Let it change you. You’re more powerful than you can even imagine from where you are now. So much good is wanting to reach you!